The Post Adoption Support Hub

In a break from normal crafty posts , I’ve got a tale to tell that explains the radio silence  around here in recent times.

Last autumn I was invited to a group meeting for adoptive parents, and, against my better judgement, decided to attend.   I had a feeling that it would all be a bit too “hug a tree” for my taste, but the inviter assured me all would be well.

Right up until I got out of my car in the Starbucks car park, I was ready to go home.  But that would have been rude, so I went in, got a large coffee and joined the group of other ladies, none of whom I’d met before.

This is one of those life lessons about how your future can turn on something as simple as walking through the door at Starbucks.  And I should know by now that these things happen, because it was under similar circumstances that I met Dave, and look how that turned out.

The ladies around the table were lovely, and we still have monthly meetups, just to remind ourself that we’re not alone with our quite specific parenting challenges.  But about 20 minutes in, a latecomer pulled up a seat and joined us.  And this is where things take a turn.

I’m sure we knew each other in a past life.  I have other friends like that.  It’s weird, but cool.  And we kept meeting up for coffee, then lunch.  All the time laughing and swapping notes about things we did or didn’t know about the resources and support our children need.   And just how hard it is to find those resources, because often you don’t even know what you’re looking for until you find it!

And over coffee one day, back in Starbucks, we were bemoaning that fact that this information is sooooooo hard to find, and that it should be easier, and all in one place, and somebody should build a website……..

So we did.

 

We launched on Saturday. 

And we’re rather chuffed with it!

This is our first iteration…we have plans for lots more shiny stuff.  But for now we’ve hit the main problems that people like us (parents/carers of adopted children with additional health and educational challenges) have to address on a daily basis.  And when I say address, I mean battle, because the services are so underfunded you have to fight hard and long to get the support they need.

So if you, or anyone you know, has children who need a bit more support than the average bear, do come and check us out.

Normal crafty service will now be resumed.


14 Responses to The Post Adoption Support Hub

  1. Congratulations to you and your friend on this new venture. I don’t have children but my brother and his wife do and they faced some particulary tough challenges when the children were much younger and I know they welcomed support whenever it was available. Good luck with this, I am sure it will be an invaluable resource for many people.

    • Evie says:

      Thank you so much.
      I’m hoping it helps people so they don’t have to spend the years in the “wilderness” as we did.
      I hope things are going well for your brother and his family. xxx

  2. K-Line says:

    Evie – aren’t you awesome! I love that you have moved out of your comfort zone to create a community that will help you and other parents to navigate the world of post-adoptive services. I’m confident this is going to help so many parents who are struggling to get the help required for their kids. You should feel so proud!

    • Evie says:

      Thank you! So much!
      It’s been quite a surreal few months, and I can’t quite believe we’ve actually got this out into the world. We have such plans, that if we pull them off, will mean this will be a truly unique service that will help all parents, not just adopted or extra needs. It’s really exciting!
      And I will admit to feeling quite proud of us in a most un-British fashion!

  3. Tialys says:

    What a great website – well done!

  4. Gillian Emmett says:

    We used to host the local Parent to Parent Independent Association until our second adoption broke down. While the professionals were just that, professional & with their own agendas, the best support & advice came from fellow adoptees. They were the only ones who understood how wider family relationships are affected, & can break down irrevocably, because the issues & challenges that come with each child put so much pressure on the immediate adoptive family. Our son is now in his thirties but there are still issues that only other families like ours would understand. I do miss the contact – there is only one member of our old group that we can speak to. Good luck and all the best; ensure that those who have grown up adopted children can take part too. They have advice & experiences to share as well as needing support themselves.

    • Evie says:

      Fellow adoptees really are the only ones who truly understand the challenges we face and the impact they have on everyone. Also the love alone isn’t enough. No matter how much we wish it were. These children have been through so much and adoptive parents are pretty much left to their own devices. I believe the system is systematically failing a whole generation of adopters and their children. It’s so terribly sad!

      Thank you for sharing your experience. We won’t forget the adopters of older children.

  5. Hi Evie, what can I say but what a beautiful, selfless thing to do. It is hard bringing up children so I can only imagine how hard it is to find support for any additional challenges you might face. Congratulations to you and your friend on the new website. That is fabulous. Xx

  6. Evie says:

    Thank you so much.

    We really hope it has an impact on families like ours. We are so lucky that we’ve found the start of a journey to support for our kids. Not everyone is that lucky.

  7. AnneW says:

    Wow, congratulations and good luck with it! Funding for all sorts of things is drying up worse than my allotment! I wish you all the best!

    • Evie says:

      Thank you. The lack of funding for vulnerable groups is a scandal…and not just for children. And I think a lot of the time you only get allocated resources if you push back when they say no. That’s certainly been our experience!

  8. Kim says:

    Fantastic Evie! I wish you and all involved every success with this. I’m unfamiliar with the difficulties adoption/adopting creates but having had a special needs child I appreciate just how hard it can be to track down and then access what is needed.

    • Evie says:

      Thanks Kim.
      It’s become apparent to us very quickly that these challenges aren’t just experienced by adoptive parents, which was something we hadn’t really considered. So we’re making sure that the content is relevant to birth families too. I suspect we may even need to rebrand at some point. It’s all about getting the information to the folks who need it most.